The Number I've Dialled

ring ring I sit

And stare at the ceiling

ring ring Waiting,

waiting. Hoping, just hoping

ring ring That maybe you

stop what you’re doing, and

ring ring think about me, the way

I think about you.

I force my head into my pillow

hoping that maybe I’ll

stop  breathing

Either way,

I don’t seem to hold any purpose

without you.

ring- Then silence.

That familiar voice echoes in my ears.

The number you have dialled is currently busy. Please--  

8 words,

so common, so

Seemingly meaningless. But the second that

I hear the sound, I can’t help

but feel like an ant

that’s been stepped on

repeatedly

by someone who doesn't know I'm there.

I clench the damp grass I lay on,

Stagnant as I think of those very words.

“Maybe I’m overthinking”, Yes, maybe.

But it is no doubt that

I am only a distraction to you,

A hobby,

A pastime.

But maybe, someday,

maybe I’ll be more than that.

More than a distraction, 

Than a hobby, 

Than a pastime.

But for now,

I suppose that

The number I’ve dialled is

currently busy.

Mila Mendez